Thinking Makes It So
Your thought habits are the most powerful habits we can have. But so many are unaware of even what they are thinking that we can get lost in a bad habit loop.
It’s not your fault! We think in excess of 90,000 thoughts a day. But do you ever contemplate what that thought is doing to your mindset, your body, and even your spirit?
Don’t worry if you don’t, we ALL do it. Even Eckhart Tolle does it! It’s part of being human. Awe the lovely human experience.
I love telling stories especially when they relate to what I am trying to teach. My stories always include what appears to be a huge villain. But my villains are really the one who helps me transform my life!! Always! 100% of the time.
William Shakespeare, the king of awesome quotes said in the play Hamlet,
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
When we change our perspective everything changes. Often times that seems to be easier said than done. But I’m here to tell you the hard part is holding on to that negative crap!
When I was a Junior in college I “thought” I had the opportunity to go to homecoming. This was a big deal to me because I had never been to homecoming on a date. I was kind of an awkward kid in college.
I commuted from my parent’s house to college without a car. This meant I had to use public transportation, a very uncomfortable spot to say the least.
Dating was also awkward because this meant my dates always had to pick me up at my parent’s house. And my parents were very strict. And for this blossoming rebel, you can say that friction in my house was high.
I had been dating David for a few weeks - maybe 2 dates and homecoming was quickly approaching. David was a tall, blue-eyed handsome Sigma Chi. I was a Delta Zeta and this really meant something in my little world at the time.
Imagine my disappointment when the president of Delta Zeta approached me to tell me she was going to homecoming with David! What could I say?
A few weeks went by, I was at a football party at a friend’s house and as fate would have it David and his new girlfriend show up at the same party.
I was standing outside when they drove up. Terri was driving. All of a sudden the door flew open and out flew a crutch. She jumped out of the car, laughing her butt off telling David, “Just get out, you are completely capable!”
David fumbles his way out of the truck and is laughing at her! They giggle and find their way to his crutch and she helps him inside the party all the while they are laughing at several inside jokes they have made together.
It was right then and there I had a very young realization. She was better for him than I was! And let me tell you a little seed was planted that day.
I came to that conclusion a thousand times since then, with my ex-husband for sure, but also with all the others that led me to Eddie. And if Eddie decides to leave me, I will be able to think like this again!
Terri and David married soon after college, had children, and you’d think that’s the end of the story. But it’s not.
Fast forward 30-something years later, yes I am that old! As old as the Super Bowl, look it up!
I had heard Eddie’s daughter, Chelsa, talk about her childhood friend whose father (David) owned a bowling alley. I noticed that Eddie’s daughter was friends with my sorority sister (Terri) on Facebook.
I asked Eddie how Chelsea knew Terri. He told me that their kids grew up together and they had lived on the same street when the kids were little. Talk about a small world!!
A few weeks ago David and Terri’s daughter was at a swim party we had for Wyatt, Eddie’s grandson. She and I put the connection together.
Terri, Crystal’s mother, actually called her while I was standing beside her. Her mom said, “Oh yes I remember Kathie Ingram, she and Tricia introduced me to David.”
Yeah, something like that. 😉
Cue the song, “Unanswered Prayers” and look at Eddie. He compliments me. And I don’t mean in a sense he says compliments. We just mesh! Kinda like the cute couple throwing crutches out the window.
What are your thought habits? How do you approach situations that outwardly seem disappointing to our human mind? But truly are a blessing.
We answer this question in the HOT Habit Checklist. We talk about this in today’s video, podcast episode, and mindmap today!
Watch the video here:
Listen to the podcast here:
In fact, I teach you how to reconstruct those thought habits to help you instead of hurt you in steps #8 find harmony between challenge and skill, and #9 plan for failure.
The story about Toxic Positivity Girl:
You may have heard me talk about “toxic positivity girl”. You know I abhor that term and really what it means is forced positivity. www.instagram.com/miriamfried is the one I refer to as toxic positivity girl. She calls everything out, would rather be RIGHT than kind, and is living in pride on the levels of consciousness.
I follow her just to see how that toxic positivity is working for her and let’s just say - NOT GOOD. But I actually almost unfollowed her at the beginning of June because she did not complain about anything. She was actually boring me.
Then Roe vs Wade hit and it has been over. She is adamant about content creators speaking out on this. Again, she’d rather be RIGHT than kind. I have seen many content creators hurt by this and not know how to approach this because evidently, our silence is “wrong.”
I have seen battles take place over this one topic. What a waste of energy! If you agree with it fine. If you don’t agree with it fine. All truths are half-truths anyway. If you don’t want to speak out about it fine. If you do fine!
But I’ll be damned if I have some toxic positivity girl try to shame me (and my fellow kind entrepreneurs) over not voicing my opinion! We all know where shame is on the levels of consciousness.
The thing is toxic positivity girl has some very valid points. She is right most of the time. But she is so dang forceful that it makes me wonder what her thought habits are. Actually, I don’t have to wonder, it is blatantly obvious. She is stuck in FORCE.
When you come from a place of force you are no better than the things you are fighting about: the race battle, Tracy Anderson Method, Shein Clothing, the government and the decisions they force on us, gun control, the supplement industry, male dominance, and rudeness in the gym, oh the list goes on and on. And she even had a stance on the Texas freeze and she lives in New York. As a survivor of the Texas freeze, I can tell you that on that topic she was dead wrong.
When you rely on politics and the news for your information and your battles you get stuck in a mess of destructive pendulums. Your energy gets lost in them. I have seen her visibly shaken over some of her thought habits. That is an obvious sign of a destructive pendulum at work.
And this happens when we’d rather be right than be kind. But there is a better way. Relax, sit back and watch the pendulum fade away. It’ll be on to something else in no time. And so will toxic positivity girl right along with that destructive pendulum.
